It's all about word choice

So you know when you're writing a scene and it's just not working? And you can't really figure out why? I'm here to tell you:

It's all about word choice.

This is a lesson I'm learning the hard (but fun!) way through my advisors at VCFA, and it's true about so many things it's not even funny. Word choice is why adverbs are evil. Word choice takes a ho-hum scene and turns it into an OMGSCENEOFAWESOME. The difference between "hug" and "caress," between "walk" and "stagger," between "loud" and "explosive" is quite huge. 

But it's not always easy to figure out what the right word or group of words is to set the scene you want to create. Just the other night, for example, I was trying to write a kissing scene. (My favorite!) But not just any kind of kissing scene — a very specific kind. I wanted to write a more romantic kissing scene, the kind where it's clear the two characters are falling in love, where it's not about lust or passion, but about romance and tenderness. 

And I was really struggling. 

So I took a step back. I watched some videos of kissing scenes. (Totally for research. I swear.) Then I did my favorite kind of brainstorming: I created a wordlist for the scene. 

A wordlist can be a great way to set the mood for a scene you're struggling with. Basically, the goal is to create a list of words that remind you of that scene — but they don't all have to be related to that scene or the action taking place in it. For example, on my kissing list, I included words like "hold" "pull" and "lips," but I also included words that simply felt that they belonged in that scene, such as "sheer," "light," "slip," and "warmth." As I was watching the kissing videos, any words that came to mind that reminded me of the scene I was trying to create went on the list, even if they had nothing to do with kissing.

You can do this for any scene. A fight scene might have words like cut, beat, black, hard, and so on. Cut and beat obviously would be involved in fighting, but black? Hard? Those simply feel like they belong in a fight scene, even though the actual words have nothing to do with fighting. (And of course, you can disagree. Your word list will look nothing like mine.)

When you're done with your list, you have a foundation for your scene. You can take your list of words and try to build your scene around it. You don't want to over do it — just a few choice words sprinkled throughout the scene will help set the right tone and mood.

So the next time you're stuck trying to create the right mood for a scene, try a word list, or swap out some of the more dull, drab words in your scene for something with a little more punch. It will make a huge world of difference.

Do you have any tactics for helping you set the mood for a scene? How do you make sure the words you're choosing are right?

I Love Making Out

That's right, you heard me....er, read that. I LOVE making out.

Well, I love writing about it at least.

Today, I was revising some chapters and I discovered a TOTALLY SECRET MAKE-OUT SESSION which two of my characters apparently decided to have, then forgot to tell me about. (Actually, I wrote it in the first draft when I was clearly half asleep, which was evident because I used "and" when I meant "had" and "if" when I meant "is" and other sound-alike changes that I always do when I'm starting to get too tired but am dying to type out just one...more...sentence. I guess my sleep-deprived self decided to let the characters OMGTOTALLYMAKEOUT, and then I forgot about it the next morning...until I read it today.)

The thing about this kissing scene, though, is that I decided a few weeks ago to take out all the kissing scenes between these two characters, and save them for the next book. For reasons I'm just not going to divulge here because I harbor delusions that you all care about spoilers or will even remember these tidbits when my book is published, I decided it was best to keep these two apart for the time being. But as I was reading it, not knowing that I had written a kiss in, thinking it was just a tender moment, I kept thinking to myself, "Oh, man, it would be SO PERFECT if they kissed here!!" And then BAM! They do! And it is kind of perfect, actually, even if it's maybe not totally right.

I thought about taking it out. Part of me still thinks I should. I'm telling that part of me to shut it right now, and will see what my crit partners think when I hand it over to them. Because the fact of the matter is, I love kissing scenes. I love reading them and I love writing them. I love that moment when you know there's going to be a sexy kiss and then it totally happens and you just want to smile and jump for joy. I love (to hate) the moment when you think there's going to be a sexy kiss and then it doesn't happen for reasons tragic or just plain embarrassing. I love the way I get all tingly inside when people are kissing on the page and I'm rooting for them because I knew all along it would happen, or because I never guessed it would. Kissing is awesome.

When I write kissing scenes, I try to think back to the great kisses in my life and describe them on the page to make everything sound more authentic. Then I might go through and change things to protect the innocent. I also have distinct kissing styles for each of my characters. One guy kisses and tastes a certain way, and the other kisses and tastes a different way. I have to make sure they are distinct and match the character, otherwise things are just going to get boring. And no one wants to read about (or participate in) boring kisses.

Writing kissing scenes can definitely be tough. When I emailed a group of writing friends about finding my super-secret kissing scene, I got a very diverse reaction about how much they loved - or didn't love - writing kissing scenes. And just because you enjoy writing about kissing doesn't make you instantly good at it (kind of like kissing itself...) One of my crit partners pointed this out to me. (Not because I was kissing her! Get your mind out of the gutter, people, and read on.) I sent her a chapter from my WIP to look at, a scene that involved some sexy kissing. I wrote about (among other things) sloppy kisses and raw lips, and overall I thought the scene was pretty sexy. It's funny how people have totally different definitions of sexy, though, because the notes I got back from her made it clear that she wasn't totally clear if FMC was supposed to have enjoyed the kiss, and that my descriptive words were not really getting across the va-va-voom of the whole experience. And she was totally right. When I reread it from her perspective, I almost laughed out loud. "Really, Heather? REALLY? This was supposed to be earth-shattering??? It sooooo isn't," was all I could think. So I rewrote.  And it's way better now (I hope!)

I guess that's just another reason you need great crit partners. Because not everyone kisses the same way, and sometimes you need someone else to tell you how to be a better kisser.

What do you think about making out? Do you like writing kissing scenes, or do you dread them? As a reader, are they awesome, or not awesome? What is the appropriate length for a kissing scene, anyway? A paragraph? A chapter? 248 pages?

No Kiss Blog Fest!

You all might remember the kissing day blog fest from a few entries back. Well, Frankie decided it would be a good idea to do a no-kiss blog fest, where we all celebrate the almost kisses in our WIPs! I thought it was a great idea, and signed up as soon as I heard (I'm the sixth name on the list!).

But then I realized the dilemma...I don't have any almost kisses in my WIP. Apparently, I like to just give my characters whatever they want. (Actually, it's really because there aren't that many kisses there to begin with, for reasons I can't really explain here because I harbor delusions that people care about spoilers.)

So...what to do? I wanted to participate, and I couldn't let Frankie down...plus I was already signed up! So I decided to write a scene just for the occasion! The characters are from what I thought would be my next project, but will most likely be the project after that, as I now have an idea I love for my next project, and can't give up on it now. (Of course, this is all assuming my current WIP, which is a planned series, doesn't get immediately picked up by the most fabulous agent/publisher ever.) Everything that happens is so them, I might just end up putting it in that WIP anyway.

I was also going to include my New Years Resolutions in this post, but the scene turned out rather long, so I decided not to. So tune in for that tomorrow.

And now, without further ado...the worst first date imaginable...my scene for the #nokissblogfest!

________________________________________________

     

“I had a great time tonight,” Marshall said, gazing at me from the driver’s seat of his green Lexus. His eyes glistened in the light of the full moon. He had chosen an oldies station to set the mood, and Frank Sinatra was crooning through the stereo.

“Mm,” I replied, shifting uncomfortable in my seat. Ugh. Only a few streets until my house. I could hold out that long, right?

This should have been the perfect date. I’d had my eye on Marshall Fuller for months. He was intelligent, charming, cute in that geeky sort of way that I just can’t get enough of, and exceedingly polite. All night, he had been opening doors for me, and he refused to let me pay the bill at dinner or even buy my own ticket at the movies. When he picked me up four hours ago with a bouquet of roses – roses! – in his hands, I thought I must have walked into a dream.

But somewhere between the Indian restaurant and the previews for the coming attractions, that dream had turned into a nightmare. Who knew my favorite meal could turn against me? Usually, spicy chole hit the spot. But tonight … Thank goodness the romantic comedy we’d wanted to see had been sold out, and we’d opted for an action movie instead – plenty of explosions and loud gun fire to mask the sounds coming from my lower intestine.

“Are you alright? You look a little pale.” We’d pulled up to a stop sign, and Marshall was giving me a worried expression, a furrow forming between his eyebrows that made him even more adorable. WHY was this happening to me?!

“Fine. I’m fine.” I gave him a half-hearted smile, and he seemed satisfied. Talking was impossible. I was sweating, but somehow also pocked with cold Goosebumps along my entire body. How was that possible?

           

 “So, do you want to get a coffee or something?”

Yes. “No, thanks. I’m pretty tired."

“Well, that’s why you drink coffee. It wakes you up.” He looked at me, a devilish smile playing across his lips. God, those lips…

“No, really. Thanks though. I think just…take me home please.” It was getting worse. It felt as if someone was turning my stomach into knots, then stabbing it repeatedly with a sharp object. I needed to get out of this car. Now.

 “OK, if you’re sure.” The disappointment in his voice was evident, but I was beyond caring at this point. I needed the bathroom, and I needed it now.

 It wasn’t until Marshall turned onto my street that I remembered – the speed bumps.

 My neighborhood was so concerned about speeding cars that, in flagrant disregard for my emotional and physical well-being, they lined my entire street with gigantic speed bumps. Ten huge hills to torture me before I reached the conclusion of this never-ending nightmare.

As Marshall’s car lurched over the first one, my stomach began bubbling and gurgling. Immediately, I turned up the radio in a preemptive strike.

 “I love this song!” I said, blasting the volume as loud as I thought reasonable. And just in time – as Dean Martin reached his vocal climax, my intestines burbled loudly. I clutched my stomach and glanced at Marshall to see if he’d noticed, but he was humming along happily with the song.

After nine more agonizing mini roller coasters (for both the car and my stomach), Marshall finally pulled into my driveway. My hand was on the latch of the door before he’d even turned the car off.

           

“Thanks for a great night!” I said, opening the door. Finally, relief was in sight.

           

“Wait!” He called after me, his head popping over the top of his car. “Let me walk you to the door!”

           

 As he sprinted around to meet me, I wondered why I hadn’t seen this before. In an ideal world, this is exactly how our first date would have ended. He would walk me to my door, whispering romantic notions in my ear, then swoop me toward him and plant a passionate kiss on my lips. But for the past few hours, I hadn’t been thinking about anything but getting out of this. Now, the thing that I had imagined for months and months, the thing I had daydreamed about and scribbled in my pathetic journal about, the thing I had always hoped would happen was finally a reality, and I was going to shit – literally – all over it.

           

 Marshall took my hand and led me to the door. I bit my lip, trying to take deep breaths and keep myself calm. How long could a kiss really take? Thirty seconds? An eternity?

           

 “Jenn … you are so beautiful.” He ran his fingers through my curls, but they didn’t get caught like I expected them to. He continued moving his hand down, tracing the lines of my cheek and my neck, caressing my shoulder, brushing his fingers lightly across my back and sending a new kind of cold sweat running down my spine.

           

I closed my eyes, knowing exactly what was going to come next. As he leaned into me, I felt his breath on my mouth, hot and fresh – when had he eaten a mint? My stomach fluttered, and his lips grazed mine, just barely, when-

             

Grrggrrgtt. Another deafening gurgle from my stomach as its contents shifted, but this time there were no explosions on the big screen or singing Rat Packers to drown out the noise. Just me, Marshall, and the silence of the night. Maybe a few tree frogs.

             

Marshall pulled away, and both our eyes shot open. The look on his face was a mix of horror and amusement. Without a word, I spun around, and in one fluid movement, grabbed my keys from the front pocket of my purse, unlocked my door, and ran inside. __________________________________________

So, there's my scene! Happy no-kiss blog fest (and New Year!) everyone! And don't forget to check out the Mr. Linky list of other bloggers participating, and add your own scene, too!

Happy kissing day!

Happy Kissing Day Blogfest! Sherrinda over at A Writer Wannabe was inspired by the mistletoe that abounds this season, and came up with the genius idea of having a kissing day throughout the blogging world! Being a big fan of kissing, I think it's a great idea. We're supposed to post a snippet from our WIP that involves a kiss, and/or some clips or snippets from other movies or books that show a great kiss.

First off, something from my WIP. There is one reference to a character name, but I took it out because...well, there are a few people out there who might be curious as to who exactly Kaia is kissing here (there are two prospects) and it's more fun to keep them in suspense. This scene is actually out on critique right now, so it's still a little rough. But in the spirit of kissing day...rough can sometimes be a good thing. ;-)

As he said it, I released his left hand from the restraints. Both hands now free, he lifted them to my face, pressing has fingers into my checks and gathering me toward him. He kissed me, hard, not bothering to take his time working up from a slow, romantic gesture. My head spun, my stomach felt light and airy. I wasn’t sure if I was going to throw up and faint or lift right off my feet. He tasted smoky but just a little sweet, like roasted cherries. I closed my eyes and kissed him back, parting his mouth with my tongue. His lips were warm and full against my skinny bird-like ones. Blood rushed to my head, making me so dizzy I thought I would drop any minute. My knees started shaking a bit, but he simply pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around my body and entwining his fingers in knots in my hair.

When he finally pulled back, my lips felt numb and raw. I couldn’t look him in the eye, so I looked pointedly at his shoulder, and wiped a drop of spit – mine or his? – from my chin.   

So there you have it. That was the first kissing scene I'd written in a very long time, too, although it's seen an edit or two since the first draft. I do wish there was a decent synonym for lips, but oh well. 

And now some videos! I couldn't decide between my favorite two kissing scenes, so I'm just posting them both. Apparently I really like scenes where people OMGTOTALLYMAKEOUT in the rain. 







And if the Half-Blood Prince movie hadn't screwed it up, I'm sure this scene would have made my list too:

That was such a great moment. *Sigh*


Want more kisssing? Head on over to the official Mr. Linky list of blogs participating in the Kissing Day Blogfest and click away! Better yet, post some kisses on your blog and join the fun!