OMG!! o.m.g. O!M!G!: The Various Emotions of Life-Altering News

On Saturday, I got some life-altering news.

I know, your first thought is, "WTF, Heather? You got this news on Saturday. It's now Tuesday. You say you love your followers, and yet you waited three whole days to tell us this news?" But I do have a three-part defense for this:

1. I didn't check the mail on Saturday, which means I didn't actually get the news until about 11:30pm on Saturday, which is pretty much Sunday anyway.
2. Sunday was my one-year wedding anniversary. And that definitely can't be held against be.
3. Yesterday was a holiday.

So, you see, when you add it all up, I'm actually telling you the day I found out! Totally logical.

Anyway, my big news:

I got accepted into Vermont College of Fine Arts' Masters of Writing for Children and Young Adults Program!

Woot! This makes me so happy, I think it's time for a dance party:

Thanks, boys.

Anyway, when I first got the news that I'd been accepted, I literally squeed. I know that we use "squee" all the time on the Internet - I myself most recently used it over on Frankie's blog for reasons that are so awesome they are still blowing my mind. But I saw that big manila envelope from VCFA, and part of me knew - after all, the only reason that they would send a rejection letter to me in a big manila envelope is if they also included my MS sample with a huge red REJECTED stamp on each page (and that was definitely something I had nightmares about). But when I finally ripped open the package and saw all of the pages inside - the student handbook, the enrollment agreement, and finally, the congratulatory letter, I squeed.  This was my top-choice program, the only program I ended up applying to, and I was in. OMG!

Then I started thinking, and that always leads to trouble. I panicked. What am I getting myself into? Debt. Time spent doing homework. A week and a half in Vermont - in January. Not to mention being a full-time student while also being a full-time employee. Can I handle this? Am I ready? o.m.g.

But then I started thinking...again...and it led to awesome things this time. I would be attending five amazing residencies. I would get to learn how to be a better writer from some of the best children's and YA writers out there. And the alums have done some impressive things. Most importantly, I would get to spend the next two years getting feedback on my writing and focusing on my craft. O!M!G!

I imagine that this range of emotion must be a lot like what it feels like to find out your book is going to be published. (I admit this has never happened to me, so I'm totally guessing at emotions here.) Yes, it's pretty much the most amazing freaking thing to ever happen to you. But what if it's not successful? What if no one besides your mom and your weird Uncle Barney buys it? (Like what I did there?) But what if it is successful? And even if it's not - your name is going to be on the cover of a freaking BOOK! OMG! o.m.g. O!M!G!

In the end, every victory counts - no matter how big or small.

A Blog Post of Epic Hilarity

When I was about 19, I started writing a personal memoir.

I wish I was making this up.

I wasn't very dedicated to the writing. The format was going to be a compilation of the most interesting stories of my life thus far, and every so often whenever the mood struck me I would open up a Word doc and start typing away. Then college and life got in the way, I studied journalism and creative writing, and that personal memoir was forgotten as I learned how to...well, actually write.

Until tonight.

You see, I must have started that memoir as soon as I got my old laptop, because the remains of it were stashed in a supersekrit folder hidden away as I went through and organized the very last of the folders from the epic Mac switch of 2010. And there it was. The folder called FIRST BOOK.

"WTF?" I thought to myself. (See? Reading all that bad writing is making me a worse writer. Obviously I thought it to myself...who else would I think it to?) "The Reaper's List is my first book! I didn't write a book before-oh.em.gee." I immediately clicked the folder and there it was, all laid out in separate chapters.

There are about five and a half chapters written in all, but I can't share some of them because they name names and make me look like a moron. (Not just because the writing is bad, but...remember...this is a memoir, so these events actually happened. I can't believe I was ever that pathetic.) But I read the first chapter and it made me LOL so hard, I had to share it...and some snarky comments.

I love that I am a much better writer now. And in six years, I might look back on what I'm writing now, laugh, and make a hilarious blog post for all to enjoy about how awful it is. But the point is, we all grow and change, become better writers and better people. Unfortunately I'm not published and not many of you have read more of my work to vouch for me, so there's not a lot of proof but...this awfulness is still fun.

I should give fair warning: There is one five-letter word in here (repeated twice) and there is some blood near the end. But I'm not sure it's really well-written enough to bother anyone with a weak stomach....

Enjoy! My awesome, 25-year-old snark is in blue. Also there is no editing of any kind, so there are double words, extra hyphens, and all kinds of awesome.

____________________________________________
Title: BOOK OF AWFUL WHICH HEATHER WROTE WHEN SHE WAS 19 AND SHOULD IN NO WAY BE CONSIDERED A REFLECTION OF HER CURRENT WRITING TALENT. (just saying)

Chapter 1 [Which is not actually a chapter, but a weird/narcissistic intro/prologue]

I have never considered myself to be an interesting person. In fact, I would say that I am quite average, even dull. [Six years later, this is definitely still true.] But as my life unfolds before me, a veritable roller coaster of plot twists, emotions, shocks and revelations, [gee, for someone who finds herself boring there is an awful lot going on] I find that other people think that I am fascinating. [LOL!! Do they tell me that? Hm...I guess I will write a book about it...]

Chapter 2
I suppose it all started when I was 11. [What started? Me being fascinating? Or strangers walking up to me in the street and saying, "You're FASCINATING!!!"] My father’s friend was having a party, one of those adult parties that provide no entertainment for children save the long table of cakes, pies and other desserts that they aren’t allowed to eat anyway. [Why not? Was I watching my figure, even at 11? Because it definitely didn't work.] I sat in the corner, bored out of my mind, when the hostess let her dog out.

The dog was a shiny black with smooth hair and a bright pink nose. It seemed jubilant enough, but when I looked more closely I realized that the dog only had one leg. [Because clearly I would notice its color and bright nose wayyy before I would notice the fact that it was limping and missing a limb. Duh. Edit: ALSO!!!! Thanks to LOLA for pointing out in the comments that my awesome 19-year-old self wrote that the dog "only had one leg" when the dog was in fact missing a leg, and had three that worked just fine. LOL. I am ridiculous and can't believe that my skillz as an investigative journalist ever got me As in school or a decent job. Ever.] It hobbled around the room, sniffing around for treats and crumbs that people had dropped on the floor. As the dog got nearer to me, I grew extremely excited. [UH.] I couldn’t wait for him to come play with me and ease my boredom, even if only for a moment.

Then, the dog locked eyes with me, as if it had read my mind. He came over to me and rested his head in my lap. I scratched him behind his ears, and he nuzzled my thigh gratefully. [Dude, I am getting a little uncomfortable. I swear I did not write a romance novel, but all this business about "locking eyes" and "nuzzling thighs" WTF!! And this is a DOG.]

“That’s surprising,” said the hostess, “Troubles [this is actually not terrible foreshadowing. The dog's name really was Troubles] doesn’t usually like strangers, especially females. He was abused by his former owner and has been unfriendly to females ever since he lost his leg. He bit his owner’s sister, and that’s when she gave him up.”

Looking back, [Wow! That's not cliche at all!] I always thought it was strange that no one seemed concerned that the dog had a history of violence, least of all his current owner. Considering that she knew Troubles didn’t react well to strangers and females, you would think that she had the sense to keep him out of a room full of them. Apparently this woman did not have much sense. [Neither did I, when writing this scene or playing with this dog.]

Troubles pulled away from my lap, and I let out a sigh of disappointment. My brief moment of entertainment was gone, [I honestly didn't know that scratching a dog's ears was such fun for an 11-year-old. Huh.] and I was forced to go back to pretending to listen as my father talked about work and church and all the other boring things he liked to talk about.

The dog went to get a drink of water, and when he was done he laid on the floor by my feet. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I knelt on the floor in front of him and continued to scratch his neck and ears.

The next thing I remember is a loud growling sound. I can still hear it, nearly a decade later. It was one of the meanest and scariest sounds I have ever heard, at once loud and angry and unforgiving. The horrible noise was followed by a warm, wet feeling above my lip and a thick, salty taste in my mouth. [In case you don't know what just happened (I don't blame you, I don't even know what happened and I was there)...the dog totally just bit me. ON MY FACE. And instead of feeling any pain, I heard a noise and felt something warm and wet (sounds pleasant!) and got a salty taste in my mouth. This required 50+ stitches and I still have a scar, and I didn't have any pain?? No. NO. Not right.]

My mother screamed. My thick, purple glasses fell to the floor as she picked me up and carried me to the bathroom, all the while screaming, “You stupid bitch, how could you let that monster out? You stupid bitch!” [Wow, I have quite a mouth on me!! Oh, wait. My mom was screaming that. I get it now. Heh.]

My mother stood me up in front of the sink and turned the faucet on. Before I could look in the mirror, the entire lower half of my face was being rinsed with water. Through the foggy-haze of my glasses-free eyes, I saw dark red water rinsing spiraling down the drain.

When you rinse out a cut, usually the water turns lighter and lighter, until the blood no longer looks red but pink, and finally the water runs clear. The water never ran clear for me. My mother screamed for ice as my brother retrieved my glasses. The glasses and ice bag arrived at the same time, and my mother made the poor decision to let me put my glasses back on. I looked up and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

During my middle school days, I harbored dreams of being a movie star. [Totally true. I wanted to be a movie star right up through junior year of high school.] As soon as I saw what that dog had done to my face, I began bawling. [Because I wasn't already crying with pain from being BITTEN ON THE FACE??] Movie stars are supposed to be beautiful and glamorous. They are the ultimate in attractiveness, grace, poise and sophistication. [And I need to let my readers know this because they have never seen a movie star in their lives.] As I examined myself in the mirror, I thought I would never be attractive enough to be famous.

Troubles had bitten me on the right side of my face, just above my lip. His teeth reached my cheek and my nose, and tore a hole through my flesh. The blood kept pouring and pouring. [I must have passed out by now. Maybe that means I'll stop writing.] I could have put my finger through that hole. Fortunately, he didn’t manage to split my lip apart, or even penetrate the edge of my lip. [How do I know this is fortunate right now? Answer: I don't. The doctor told me that.] Still, I knew the gaping hole went stitches, I knew that stitches meant scars, and that scars meant I would never be pretty. I knew that I was awkward and a little overweight, but I thought I could outgrow that. I would never outgrow this. [Fortunately, though, I did outgrow my desire to write a memoir, and I learned how to be a better writer.]
_______________________________________

So, there you have it. The Blog Post of Epic Hilarity. And you didn't even have to ask for it. The story goes on to tell about the trip to the hospital, me getting stitched up, and some other stuff. Then there are the other chapters, which are also awful/awesome. 

All I can say is...thank goodness for artistic growth.  

Things I'm Looking Forward To

I think we get down on ourselves a lot as writers. We get frustrated with something crappy we've just written. We get mad that we don't have as much time to write as we'd like. We want to throw things at our MCs because they won't just stick to the damn outline. And every once in awhile, we need to remind ourselves that there are good things to come. Good things like...

1. Going to SCBWI-LA, and meeting one of my crit-partners, multiple blogging friends, and an endless sea of Twitter-buddies in real life. Not to mention authors, agents, and editors, and learning a whole lot.
2. Applying to VCFA's MFA in writing for children and young adults. My transcripts are sent, one recommendation letter has arrived, and by the end of the weekend I will have submitted a critical essay and writing sample, too. I know you don't need an MFA to be published. But I would love to learn more about craft, and maybe even teach one day, and studying writing for two years just sounds like a whole lot of fun to me.  
3. Finishing (what will hopefully be) my last round of revisions. Before I do that, of course I need to finish the two rounds that come before that. But I know the end is coming up soon, which means that before I know it, I will be...
4. Polishing, perfecting, and sending off my query. Uhm, wow. That is in my four/five month plan. And it is terrifying. And awesome. 
5. Attending the Decatur Book Festival. OK, this one is about a million months away (read: six months). But I still can't wait. And they won't even announce all the authors until June. But I know this one is worth driving to Atlanta for.
6. Reading books by people I know. You guys, in case you forgot, people we know (through the Internet and/or in real life) are getting published. They're getting agents. Things are happening for them. And one day, we'll get to read their books, after months and years of watching their journey. This is very, very cool to me. Not only will I be squeeing through 250+ pages of prose (OMG!! I KNOW THIS AUTHOR!!!), but the whole time I'll be thinking, "This could so be me one day." And who knows? Publishing takes a long time. By the time those books are in print, maybe I'll have a deal of my own. Or maybe I'll be running a blog called IHatePublishedAuthors.Com, where I make fun of everyone who manages to get a book deal, because I don't have the talent or drive to make it. One of those two.   

Now you tell me...what are you looking forward to?

Library Appreciation Part 2: My Favorite Library Worker!

Yesterday was Library Appreciation Day, part of the blogging world's effort to raise awareness about National Library Week. I wrote a post about my local library, and originally I thought I was going to leave it at that. But then I remembered that I know a librarian! And not only do I know her, but I consider her one of my close friends - even though we met online and I've only seen her in real life once (and I know none of you will think I'm crazy for saying that, because you get what it means to be able to have real friends that you met online.) Best of all, she told me that today was National Library Worker's Day! Obviously, I had to celebrate my friend, and workers around the country, by having her here on my blog.

So, blog-followers, meet Julie. Julie is awesome. She is incredibly kind, beautiful (she's the blond in the picture), intelligent, and has the sweetest voice I've ever heard (seriously. I almost died when I met her because her voice is so cute.) She's also a book blogger, so after you get to know her, you should check out her blog, Book Hooked!

*****

Heather: Welcome to the blog, Julie! Tell us about your job.
 

Julie: I work at a small technical school that offers degrees in Computer Drafting and Design, Information Technology, Electronics, and Criminal Justice.  The largest part of my job is building our collection and working with students on basic information literacy skills.  Most of our students are non-traditional, over the age of 25, and below the poverty line.  I do a LOT of basic skills training - using a computer, spelling, how to use the Internet, etc.

H:  It sounds like you make a huge difference! How long have you been working at the library? 

J: Two years, although technically I'm only a library assistant.  My school is so small that I am the only library staff, so I do the same duties as a librarian, but I won't have the official "librarian" title until I finish my MLS degree in December.

H: Titles, schmitles...you do the work, you're a librarian to me! (And trust me, she does a LOT of work! She's done some amazing programs in the past for her students to bring awareness about literary events, and this month she's hosting two "break the rules" nights in the library, as well as a school-wide trivia game. She's also hosting a haiku workshop! She's amazing. All of this programming for no extra money and little additional praise!) Why did you decide to become a librarian? 

J: I graduated college with a BA in English, which doesn't give a whole lot of career options :)  This is something I decided to try and have loved, so I went on for my graduate degree!

H: I know what you mean about options! Even with my degree in journalism, I pretty much could work at a newspaper, or a magazine. What do you like most about your job?

J: Loving on my students and seeing them get excited about learning.  I have a few who are incredibly dedicated and work so hard to improve their lives - seeing that and getting to be a part of it is inspiring.

H: I hear you talk about that a lot, and it makes me want your job! Is there anything you don't like? 

J: My main pet peeve is being treated like a secretary or babysitter.  Lots of faculty want me to make copies for them or watch their classes and that drives me nuts.  I also hate hearing "so you just paid to sit around and read books all day?"  I wish.

H: OK, so on to the topic of the day: library worker appreciation! What do your students do on a regular basis to make you feel appreciated?

J: I do a lot of work that I feel like is "behind the scenes" - making tutorials and websites and working on events that students don't see - so when one of them notices and just says "thank you" it means a lot.  Even little things like stopping by to tell me hello or offering to watch me walk to my car after dark or telling me to drive safely make me feel appreciated.  I had a student tell me one time that I was the only "authority" he could talk to about his personal life who didn't make him feel stupid.  That kind of stuff can keep me going for weeks! 

H: What can library patrons in general (like me and my blog readers) do to make sure that their librarians feel appreciated today?

J: Just saying thanks really goes a long way.  Realize that your librarians are not sitting behind a desk reading books all day.  It might look like they're just chilling out behind the desk, but I promise they aren't.  Someone has to make the websites, flyers, programs, type the spine labels, etc.  Just hearing someone say "you did a good job" or "I enjoyed that event" can really make a difference.

H: OK, note to self: bring thank-you cards and baked goods to my library the next time I go! With budget cuts, e-Books, and the Internet becoming even more widely available (literally at our fingers all the time), what do you think the future role of the library will be?

J: A lot of people say that libraries are on their way out, but I really just can't see that.  The demand for information is always increasing and, especially with the down turn in the economy, are more necessary than ever, especially for the unemployed and those who live below the poverty line.  So many people in urban areas depend on libraries for access to the internet, as well as books, magazines, newspapers.  I really love to hear stories of communities pulling together to keep their libraries open because they really show how much the community depends on the library as a source of information.

H: OK, enough of the serious stuff...time for two fun questions! If you could work at any library, anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

J: That is such a hard question!  I'd love to get some experience at a public library, but I really think that in the long run academic libraries are my cup of tea.  I'd really love to find a job doing reader's advisory services in any setting - getting paid to tell people what to read is my dream job!

H: Well, on that note...get some practice! Tell my readers to read any book. Go! 

J: Read Till We Have Faces by CS Lewis.  Best book ever!

*****

Thanks for stopping by, Julie! Don't forget to check out her blog!

P.S. I cut two people out of that picture of Julie and me. I feel a little bad about it, because they are really awesome people. But I didn't have time to ask their permission to put their picture all over my blog, and I thought posting without their permission would be rude. But the good news is they both have blogs! And they're both hosting SIGNED Hex Hall giveaways right now!!! (Crystal also has Princess for Hire and Leaving Gee's Bend!) So you should head over to Crystal from Crystal Clear Reading and Leah from My Life: Uncensored blogs, say hello, and enter their giveaways!

THE HUNGER GAMES 3 HAS A COVER!!

And it's gorgeous.

 

Click here to read what David Levithan has to say about the cover and the book.

And click here to read my real blog post from tonight, which is about creating kick-ass female characters. Since Katniss got a mention, I thought this announcement deserved its own post.