Tapping Into My Crazy

I'm a little bit crazy.

It's OK. I'm a writer. I'm allowed to be.

Every writer has those slightly seriously crazy habits that they will never admit to having - unless, of course, they have a blog, in which case they'll tell everyone on the Internet about their secret weirdness.

Which leads me to today's post.

You see, readers, I have a tendency to talk to myself. I guess that's not so weird. But you know what IS weird? Having fake interviews with yourself where you talk to a non-existent "reporter" about the inspiration behind your book, and what you're planning for your characters in the next installment.

Not only is this totally INSANE because I'm literally TALKING to NO ONE (like this conversation isn't taking place in my head. I'm actually saying the words. Aloud. To NO ONE. CRAZYTOWN.), but it also might be crazy because:

1. I haven't sold a book yet.  (I mean I don't even have a representative to sell it on my behalf.)
2. Probably because I haven't even finished revising my book. (But oh BOY am I close, readers. Like it's palatable.)
3. So not only are journalists absolutely NOT lining up around the block to scoop my story, but they certainly don't care about what's going to happen in the next installment.
4. Because there isn't a next installment.
5. And if there WAS a next installment, I wouldn't be telling all my secrets to a journalist.
6. Because I don't like spoilers.
7. Also because I AM a journalist, and I know better than that.
8. Watch out for journalists. We are smarter than we look. 

And yet. I still bring the crazy, by living out my future dreams and interviewing myself. Usually these interviews take place in the car when there's a song on that I don't like. But today it took place in the kitchen, where I have decided all the MAGIC happens because my fake interview totally helped me put the final pieces into place for the greater plot-arc of my potential series!!

So you see!! There's a reason writers are crazy! It helps us think. And plan. And figure things out. So that when (not if - when! - you must believe, dear readers) my book sells, and when my Awesome Agent scores me a totally Sweet Deal with an Excellent Editor, and all my dreams come true, and my book becomes a series, I won't be staring at my Mac going, "CRAP! But that's a clue I needed to leave in the FIRST book! STOP THE PRESSES! REDACT! RECALL! ETC.!" Instead, I will say, "It's cool. I've got this covered. I went all crazytown in my kitchen for a reason."

So, basically, readers, what I'm saying is this: It's OK to be crazy sometimes. Writing is hard. It's exhausting. Sometimes you're living on little more than coffee/tea and chocolate, which is pretty much a diet of caffeine and sugar, and possibly no sleep, so if you didn't embrace the crazy you'd be in trouble. So go a little crazy, have your great ideas, then come online and write blog posts that make little to no sense whatsoever.

Tell me readers! Have you ever embraced your crazy and ultimately had it work out for the best?

I'm a Bad Writer.

Sometimes, I feel like my book is terrible. I read it and I think everyone will HATE it and I will NEVER be successful and I may as well throw myself off a CLIFF because all of my hopes and dreams are being DESTROYED AS I SIT HERE in my gray cubicle in this ADORABLE NEW SKIRT THAT WAS ONLY $5. (Oh actually there was no reason to yell about that one. $5 for a skirt is a really great deal.)

I think everyone struggles with these feelings at one point or another. Everyone gets to that weak spot in their manuscript, or reads a particularly awesome book and thinks, "What I wrote will never, ever be this good. EVER."

What's a writer to do? Here are a few of my favorite options:

• Whine. You probably have a few writer friends, or perhaps a few supportive IRL friends. So...try a little complaining. It's not very effective at solving your problem, but boy does it feel good! And if you don't have any friends (Aw...) join Twitter! Then the whole Internet can listen to you complain.
• Read your favorite scene in the whole book. If you want to be productive, make it a line edit. Remind yourself of your best writing, and the things you are capable of doing - those scenes that make you say, "Wow. I wrote that?" Then, you can jump back into your revisions revised and ready to go. 
• Take a break. Eat some chocolate. Exercise. Just get out of your head for a minute. Sometimes you just need to quiet the mean, critical voice.
• Revisit past accomplishments. Think about the biggest thing you've achieved so far in your writing career. Maybe it was getting into a difficult writing workshop, or landing an agent. Maybe it was just a really nice blog comment on a blogfest entry or even on a regular entry. Maybe you got an A++ and a gold star on your third-grade spelling test. (Impressive! I once got a 100%, but misspelled my name. #HeatherWIN.) Whatever it is, revisit a past accomplishment. Remind yourself that you are AWESOME and you CAN do it. My accomplishment is reading my VCFA acceptance letter, because I honestly never thought I would see that white envelope come in the mail with my name on it.
• Edit until the bad writing is GONE. When none of these things work and you still feel like your book is bad, there's only one thing to do...make it better.

I can't lie and say that this banishes all my doubts. I still have them. I still worry if I'm a total failure, if my acceptance into VCFA was an admissions fluke and they're just too embarrassed to admit it, if everyone who's ever read anything I've written is lying through their teeth with any compliment they give. But you have to push those fears aside. Because living in doubt won't get you anywhere.


And now, blog readers, a question...What do you do when you feel so much doubt about your writing abilities that you want to set yourself on fire just a little bit (or maybe just eat an entire gallon of ice cream)?

Are You a Writer?

Earlier this week, I went on a business trip to Denver. Denver is approximately a million miles away from Florida. (OK, it's actually about 2,000 miles.) All of those miles meant a lot of time in the plane and airport, which meant I got a lot of writing done. (It's amazing what you can do when Twitter, gmail, and other blogs are not within your reach. Although on one of my flights I did get Internet access, and it was aMAZing. #TweetsOnAPlane is my new favorite hashtag.)

On my last flight, a very nice lady was sitting next to me as I clacked away at my MacBook. She mostly kept to herself, reading The Elegance of the Hedgehog, and sipping her diet Sprite. But at one point she turned to me and said, "Are you a writer?"

I had two options. I could say, "No, but I want to be." Or I could own up, say "Yes!" with confidence, and understand that being a writer means a lot more than having a book on sale at Borders.

When you're a writer, you wake up in the morning wanting to write. You might carry notebooks around with you in case you get ideas, and if you forget your notebook you'll write on napkins, scrap pieces of paper -- whatever you can get your hands on. If you've ever posted a blog entry, kept a journal, or shared a story with a friend or family member, then you are a writer. You don't have to write a book to be a writer -- but if you are writing a book (or even a story that you're really excited about), you'll probably bring your laptop or notebook with you, even on a business trip, just so you can get a few minutes of revisions in.

When you're a writer, you read. You read novels that you love, novels that you hate, classics and contemporary pieces. You read books that were recommended to you and you recommend books to others. You read the back of a cereal box if that's all there is.

When you're a writer, it doesn't matter if you get published or not. Sure, that would be great (obviously) and you spend plenty of time daydreaming about what your cover will look like and doodling your author signature (we've all done it, come on people.) But ultimately, you write because you love it. If your first book doesn't catch anyone's eye, you'll write another, and another, because you can't help but write -- it's in your bones, it's in the air you breathe.

So, back on the plane, when my neighbor asked if I was a writer, I almost said no. I don't have a book published. You can't find me at Barnes and Noble. But I am a writer. So I smiled back at her and said, "Yes!" with gusto.

On her way off the plane, she asked if I was going to pursue publication, and I said yes. She wished me luck, and said she hoped she could read my book one day. I hope so, too, but if not, I'll still be a writer.  

OMG!! o.m.g. O!M!G!: The Various Emotions of Life-Altering News

On Saturday, I got some life-altering news.

I know, your first thought is, "WTF, Heather? You got this news on Saturday. It's now Tuesday. You say you love your followers, and yet you waited three whole days to tell us this news?" But I do have a three-part defense for this:

1. I didn't check the mail on Saturday, which means I didn't actually get the news until about 11:30pm on Saturday, which is pretty much Sunday anyway.
2. Sunday was my one-year wedding anniversary. And that definitely can't be held against be.
3. Yesterday was a holiday.

So, you see, when you add it all up, I'm actually telling you the day I found out! Totally logical.

Anyway, my big news:

I got accepted into Vermont College of Fine Arts' Masters of Writing for Children and Young Adults Program!

Woot! This makes me so happy, I think it's time for a dance party:

Thanks, boys.

Anyway, when I first got the news that I'd been accepted, I literally squeed. I know that we use "squee" all the time on the Internet - I myself most recently used it over on Frankie's blog for reasons that are so awesome they are still blowing my mind. But I saw that big manila envelope from VCFA, and part of me knew - after all, the only reason that they would send a rejection letter to me in a big manila envelope is if they also included my MS sample with a huge red REJECTED stamp on each page (and that was definitely something I had nightmares about). But when I finally ripped open the package and saw all of the pages inside - the student handbook, the enrollment agreement, and finally, the congratulatory letter, I squeed.  This was my top-choice program, the only program I ended up applying to, and I was in. OMG!

Then I started thinking, and that always leads to trouble. I panicked. What am I getting myself into? Debt. Time spent doing homework. A week and a half in Vermont - in January. Not to mention being a full-time student while also being a full-time employee. Can I handle this? Am I ready? o.m.g.

But then I started thinking...again...and it led to awesome things this time. I would be attending five amazing residencies. I would get to learn how to be a better writer from some of the best children's and YA writers out there. And the alums have done some impressive things. Most importantly, I would get to spend the next two years getting feedback on my writing and focusing on my craft. O!M!G!

I imagine that this range of emotion must be a lot like what it feels like to find out your book is going to be published. (I admit this has never happened to me, so I'm totally guessing at emotions here.) Yes, it's pretty much the most amazing freaking thing to ever happen to you. But what if it's not successful? What if no one besides your mom and your weird Uncle Barney buys it? (Like what I did there?) But what if it is successful? And even if it's not - your name is going to be on the cover of a freaking BOOK! OMG! o.m.g. O!M!G!

In the end, every victory counts - no matter how big or small.

The Power of Positive Thinking

Last night, I was in my writer chat, spouting off some of my favorite type of humor - the self deprecating kind. While all of my friends were encouraging me to finish my book and put it out there into the universe, I was LOLing and telling them there was no point, because it probably wasn't good enough, and I was probably a big fat failure, and I was probably going to turn out like this guy:

In his defense, it's a lot of pressure being on those shows!

After a few minutes of my hilarious antics, my friend Anna told me to shut the heck up already (but in a much nicer, more positive way, because she is awesome). Anna told me that she only wanted to hear wonderful, positive thoughts from me for the rest of the night and, indeed, the rest of my life. I can't guarantee forever, but I told her I would write a blog post dedicated to the power of positive thinking just for her.

Of course, I couldn't mention positive thinking without talking about Dr. Masaru Emoto. Dr. Emoto is a Japanese thinker and scientist who wanted to discover the effect that words and intentions could have on outcome. So he got a high-powered microscope, then froze water and examined and photographed ice crystals that had been exposed to different thoughts and words. And the results were incredible. You can read all about his experiences in his book, The Hidden Messages in Water, but I'll give you a brief run-down here to show you that Anna is absolutely right - positive thinking is important. 

It's not surprising that the crystals in the water looked different when they were exposed to different sounds/words, because each word has a different vibration. But when you look at what the actual crystals look like...well, I'll let the pictures speak for themselves:

 Thank you (See more thank yous in different languages - all beautiful!)

Love and appreciation

You make me sick, I will kill you

Mother Teresa

Adolf Hitler

Water, before offering a prayer

Water from the same location, after a prayer

Uhm, wow. So I think it's safe to say that positive thinking - whether it's about love, respect, water, or your book - can get you some pretty beautiful things. So remember, even when you're not feeling so hot about your latest project, and even when you think it's all doom and gloom, try to remember the water crystals - or at least let everything come up puppies and rainbows...

 (That picture's for you, Anna)

and unicorns!

Image source of awesome

What's your go-to story for positive thinking?

More proof that Outstanding Writers Have No Rules

We all know there are rules that writers are never, ever, ever supposed to break. Don't use adverbs. Don't start with your character alone in a room. Don't use dream scenes, flashbacks, or prologues. Seriously, the list goes on and on (and on and on). But the truth is, writing rules were made to be broken - as long as you do it well, and are awesome.  

Rule: Don't Start Your Story With the Weather!!
Broken in: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling

The hottest day of the summer so far was drawing to a close and a drowsy silence lay over the large, square houses of Privet Drive. Cars that were usually gleaming stood dusty in their drives and lawns that were emerald green lay parched and yellowing; the use of hosepipes had been banned due to drought. Deprived of their usual car-washing and lawn-mowing pursuits, the inhabitants of Privet Drive had retreated into the shade of their cool houses, windows thrown wide in the hope of tempting in a nonexistent breeze. The only person left outdoors was a teenage boy who was lying flat on his back in a flower bed outside number four. 

Why it works: Aside from the fact that this is J.K. Rowling who we're talking about, the references to the weather are intermingled with other excellent descriptions of parched lawns and the like. What's more, Rowling makes the outdoors sound so unappealing that you instantly wonder why anyone - including Harry - would bother staying outside in such heat. She also manages to let the misery of the intro reflect the misery that's to come in the rest of the book. This definitely isn't a perfect execution of the weather-as-opener, but in general it does what weather openers need to do - have a character interact somehow with the weather.

Rule: Don't start your story with dialogue!!
Broken in: Don't Let's Go to The Dogs Tonight by Alexandra Fuller

Mum says, "Don't come creeping into our room at night." 

They sleep with loaded guns beside them on the bedside rugs. 

She says, "Don't startle us when we're sleeping." 

"Why not?" 

"We might shoot you." 

"Oh." 

"By mistake." 

"Okay." As it is, there seems a good enough chance of getting shot on purpose. "Okay, I won't."

Why it works: The reason you may have heard people say not to start with dialogue is because there's no context. It's hard to establish who is talking (narrating), where they are, or what their situation is if you open with just dialogue. But here, even though I didn't give you the next line (which is brilliant, but it mentions spiders, which I don't talk about on this blog), you know that the narrator is a child, probably living somewhere rural or lawless, and the voice is fabulous. Don't you want to keep reading? I do.


Rule: Don't start with your MC falling asleep or waking up!!
Broken in: The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. My fingers stretch out, seeking Prim's warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress. She must have had bad dreams and climbed in with our mother. Of course she did. This is the day of the reaping. 

Why it works: Mostly because The Hunger Games brings the awesome. It's really the last sentence of that paragraph that works, and knowing that Prim had bad dreams. What's going to happen today that would cause bad dreams? I want to know, so I keep reading. (For two days straight, right through two books, bringing them with me to meals and the movies and thoroughly irritating my husband...until he gets the sense to read it, too. Now we're arguing over who gets to read our copy of Mockingjay first when it comes in.)  
 

Can you think of any examples of writing rules that were broken well? (Or not well?) Share them in the comments!

It's All in How You Look at It

I went on a looooooong motorcycle ride with the hubs today. Like probably too long. And since I haven't slept much in the past few days, there was a brief moment on our ride home when I honestly thought I was going to fall asleep on the back of the motorcycle. Which would have been a disaster. But before all that, we drove to Brooksville, FL, which...uh, WOW. I didn't even know they made houses like that in Florida. Seriously, people. There were COWS. And HORSES. And wide, open FIELDS!!!

So hubs and I started doing what we I love to do whenever we're in the presence of houses that actually have decent square footage and backyards: pretend like we could actually afford them and discuss which ones we like best. We were driving along a particularly windy path, and in between two houses (one, a lovely two-story country home with wraparound porch, the other a stucco mini-mansion with a long palm-lined driveway) was an empty lot. Well, not exactly empty. It had a couple mounds of dirt in it, and a mailbox at the end of the driveway, so I assumed it was a construction site. But then hubs turned around and said, "Cool! A BMX track!"

Me: "Uh, that's not a BMX track."
Hubs: "Yeah it is!"
Me: "No, it's not! It's a construction site! Those are just piles of dirt!"
Hubs: *Laughs his face off* "No, that's a BMX track. It's organized a certain way. You just can't see it because you're not a boy."

Huh.

I can't see it, because I'm not a boy.

What looked to me like this:

Looked to my husband like this:

We were riding with his dad, otherwise I probably would have done the obnoxious girl thing and made him turn around. (Although, since he doesn't read the blog, I can comfortably admit that searching for pictures of BMX tracks made me realize he might have been right...maybe.) But what he said got me thinking about perception, and of course, how perception can affect your writing and reading.

How many times have you read a book that everyone LOVED, it just wasn't for you? I can think of at least two strong examples of this in my life. But just because I didn't like the book doesn't mean it's awful (as awesome as I am.) And when people don't enjoy my favorite books, I try to let it slide. The things they've experienced in their lives, or just their general preferences (i.e., liking BMX vs. not being sure why someone would want to ride a tiny bicycle) affect their perception of a book. And that's totally OK. And one day, when (not if - it's all about positive thinking here) I get published, there will be people - multiple people, probably - who don't like my book. And that's OK too.

I don't think there are many times when writers send something off to a crit partner thinking it's totally perfect. But the funny thing is, a crit partner (or a beta reader) might look at something you wrote and have a totally different take on it. That is, in fact, why you have them. So you might have a scene you love and think makes perfect sense, and they'll write, "OMGWTFBBQ?????" in the margins, letting you know you are totally out of your mind. (Hopefully they'll also give a little more explanation as to why you are out of your mind.) On the flip side, you might have a scene that you think is not actually working, and it turns out it is. Or maybe it just needed someone else's perspective - a little chat session or a few emails exchanged with some of your writing buddies, and before you know it your villain has a back story, and your subplot fits in perfectly with the rest of your novel. You just needed someone else to see your pile of dirt as a BMX track.

Even when you're querying, it's all about perception. We've all heard stories about how a book might get rejected by one agent, only to be picked up by another the next day. Just because one agent (or publishing house) doesn't like what you've got going on doesn't mean that there isn't another one who will see that your WIP is so not a pile of dirt...obviously.

BONUS!

How could I mention my hubs, his motorcycle, and my pink helmet (oh, did I not mention that? Well, I have a motorcycle helmet. And it's pink. It's awesome.) without sharing one of these awesome pictures from the mini-engagement photo session we did with one of my best friends, photographer Elizabeth Atkins? There's an even better one but we're KISSING in it, and no one wants to see that...

Things I'm Looking Forward To

I think we get down on ourselves a lot as writers. We get frustrated with something crappy we've just written. We get mad that we don't have as much time to write as we'd like. We want to throw things at our MCs because they won't just stick to the damn outline. And every once in awhile, we need to remind ourselves that there are good things to come. Good things like...

1. Going to SCBWI-LA, and meeting one of my crit-partners, multiple blogging friends, and an endless sea of Twitter-buddies in real life. Not to mention authors, agents, and editors, and learning a whole lot.
2. Applying to VCFA's MFA in writing for children and young adults. My transcripts are sent, one recommendation letter has arrived, and by the end of the weekend I will have submitted a critical essay and writing sample, too. I know you don't need an MFA to be published. But I would love to learn more about craft, and maybe even teach one day, and studying writing for two years just sounds like a whole lot of fun to me.  
3. Finishing (what will hopefully be) my last round of revisions. Before I do that, of course I need to finish the two rounds that come before that. But I know the end is coming up soon, which means that before I know it, I will be...
4. Polishing, perfecting, and sending off my query. Uhm, wow. That is in my four/five month plan. And it is terrifying. And awesome. 
5. Attending the Decatur Book Festival. OK, this one is about a million months away (read: six months). But I still can't wait. And they won't even announce all the authors until June. But I know this one is worth driving to Atlanta for.
6. Reading books by people I know. You guys, in case you forgot, people we know (through the Internet and/or in real life) are getting published. They're getting agents. Things are happening for them. And one day, we'll get to read their books, after months and years of watching their journey. This is very, very cool to me. Not only will I be squeeing through 250+ pages of prose (OMG!! I KNOW THIS AUTHOR!!!), but the whole time I'll be thinking, "This could so be me one day." And who knows? Publishing takes a long time. By the time those books are in print, maybe I'll have a deal of my own. Or maybe I'll be running a blog called IHatePublishedAuthors.Com, where I make fun of everyone who manages to get a book deal, because I don't have the talent or drive to make it. One of those two.   

Now you tell me...what are you looking forward to?

Library Appreciation Part 2: My Favorite Library Worker!

Yesterday was Library Appreciation Day, part of the blogging world's effort to raise awareness about National Library Week. I wrote a post about my local library, and originally I thought I was going to leave it at that. But then I remembered that I know a librarian! And not only do I know her, but I consider her one of my close friends - even though we met online and I've only seen her in real life once (and I know none of you will think I'm crazy for saying that, because you get what it means to be able to have real friends that you met online.) Best of all, she told me that today was National Library Worker's Day! Obviously, I had to celebrate my friend, and workers around the country, by having her here on my blog.

So, blog-followers, meet Julie. Julie is awesome. She is incredibly kind, beautiful (she's the blond in the picture), intelligent, and has the sweetest voice I've ever heard (seriously. I almost died when I met her because her voice is so cute.) She's also a book blogger, so after you get to know her, you should check out her blog, Book Hooked!

*****

Heather: Welcome to the blog, Julie! Tell us about your job.
 

Julie: I work at a small technical school that offers degrees in Computer Drafting and Design, Information Technology, Electronics, and Criminal Justice.  The largest part of my job is building our collection and working with students on basic information literacy skills.  Most of our students are non-traditional, over the age of 25, and below the poverty line.  I do a LOT of basic skills training - using a computer, spelling, how to use the Internet, etc.

H:  It sounds like you make a huge difference! How long have you been working at the library? 

J: Two years, although technically I'm only a library assistant.  My school is so small that I am the only library staff, so I do the same duties as a librarian, but I won't have the official "librarian" title until I finish my MLS degree in December.

H: Titles, schmitles...you do the work, you're a librarian to me! (And trust me, she does a LOT of work! She's done some amazing programs in the past for her students to bring awareness about literary events, and this month she's hosting two "break the rules" nights in the library, as well as a school-wide trivia game. She's also hosting a haiku workshop! She's amazing. All of this programming for no extra money and little additional praise!) Why did you decide to become a librarian? 

J: I graduated college with a BA in English, which doesn't give a whole lot of career options :)  This is something I decided to try and have loved, so I went on for my graduate degree!

H: I know what you mean about options! Even with my degree in journalism, I pretty much could work at a newspaper, or a magazine. What do you like most about your job?

J: Loving on my students and seeing them get excited about learning.  I have a few who are incredibly dedicated and work so hard to improve their lives - seeing that and getting to be a part of it is inspiring.

H: I hear you talk about that a lot, and it makes me want your job! Is there anything you don't like? 

J: My main pet peeve is being treated like a secretary or babysitter.  Lots of faculty want me to make copies for them or watch their classes and that drives me nuts.  I also hate hearing "so you just paid to sit around and read books all day?"  I wish.

H: OK, so on to the topic of the day: library worker appreciation! What do your students do on a regular basis to make you feel appreciated?

J: I do a lot of work that I feel like is "behind the scenes" - making tutorials and websites and working on events that students don't see - so when one of them notices and just says "thank you" it means a lot.  Even little things like stopping by to tell me hello or offering to watch me walk to my car after dark or telling me to drive safely make me feel appreciated.  I had a student tell me one time that I was the only "authority" he could talk to about his personal life who didn't make him feel stupid.  That kind of stuff can keep me going for weeks! 

H: What can library patrons in general (like me and my blog readers) do to make sure that their librarians feel appreciated today?

J: Just saying thanks really goes a long way.  Realize that your librarians are not sitting behind a desk reading books all day.  It might look like they're just chilling out behind the desk, but I promise they aren't.  Someone has to make the websites, flyers, programs, type the spine labels, etc.  Just hearing someone say "you did a good job" or "I enjoyed that event" can really make a difference.

H: OK, note to self: bring thank-you cards and baked goods to my library the next time I go! With budget cuts, e-Books, and the Internet becoming even more widely available (literally at our fingers all the time), what do you think the future role of the library will be?

J: A lot of people say that libraries are on their way out, but I really just can't see that.  The demand for information is always increasing and, especially with the down turn in the economy, are more necessary than ever, especially for the unemployed and those who live below the poverty line.  So many people in urban areas depend on libraries for access to the internet, as well as books, magazines, newspapers.  I really love to hear stories of communities pulling together to keep their libraries open because they really show how much the community depends on the library as a source of information.

H: OK, enough of the serious stuff...time for two fun questions! If you could work at any library, anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

J: That is such a hard question!  I'd love to get some experience at a public library, but I really think that in the long run academic libraries are my cup of tea.  I'd really love to find a job doing reader's advisory services in any setting - getting paid to tell people what to read is my dream job!

H: Well, on that note...get some practice! Tell my readers to read any book. Go! 

J: Read Till We Have Faces by CS Lewis.  Best book ever!

*****

Thanks for stopping by, Julie! Don't forget to check out her blog!

P.S. I cut two people out of that picture of Julie and me. I feel a little bad about it, because they are really awesome people. But I didn't have time to ask their permission to put their picture all over my blog, and I thought posting without their permission would be rude. But the good news is they both have blogs! And they're both hosting SIGNED Hex Hall giveaways right now!!! (Crystal also has Princess for Hire and Leaving Gee's Bend!) So you should head over to Crystal from Crystal Clear Reading and Leah from My Life: Uncensored blogs, say hello, and enter their giveaways!

So....woot!!!!! (A success story for the masses)

OK, I know that about 99% of you follow her anyway, because she is clearly way more awesome than me, but I needed to share it here because I have been bursting to say it ever since she told me and I couldn't tell anyone but now she told everyone so I can tell people too...SHANNON from RAMBLINGS OF A WANNABE SCRIBE HAS AN AGENT!!!!!!

WOOT!!

Looks like one of these is in order:

I made it extra huge for the special occasion.

Congrats, Shannon! Don't forget about us when you're famous!

Fun fact: Shannon was my first follower/regular commenter who wasn't a friend or family member or someone I already knew.

Go read her post for all the details, because her agent is amazing and you wouldn't want to miss out finding all about who it is! Also there is a picture of Shannon signing her contract, which is fabulous.

Also, I'm pretty sure this means we're all in for an awesome round of Shannon-shame in the form of a vlog.

(Also, Shannon, you're really not that coy...all those hints you dropped about a BIG SECRET...we knew what you were talking about. Obviously.)

Success stories like this should keep us all going, and remind us that one day we too might be posting this kind of EPIC NEWS on our blogs! And soon enough Shannon will have her first book on shelves!

Woot!

Does It Ever End???!!!

I recently finished round one of revisions.

Hooray for me!!!! Right?

Wrong. Let's not break out the dancing banana, folks. I've still got about 7,000 rounds of revisions to go. I've got a whole lot of mess in my manuscript, some problems to deal with, and then there's my crit partners...what will they think?

I'm starting to think that this whole revision process will never end. You get little milestones along the way, sure...hooray, I finished the first draft! Hooray, I reached the end of the novel! But there's always more to be done. In fact, I've created an awesome MS paint rendering of the CYCLE OF REVISION to show you how it really is never-ending:

OMG my arrows are so perfect.

Notice that revision is on there TWICE, and that's just in one round. You write the book, you read it, you see some problems, so you revise. Then you let the crit partners read it, and they see lots of problems, which require major rewrites and revisions. So you revise and write again. Then you read, and notice more problems, so you revise. But by now, your story has changed a lot, so you send it to  your crit partners, who make suggestions (maybe not as many as before, but still a lot), which require revisions and rewrites, and on and on ad infinitum. Right now I feel like I'm tumbling around in circles and will never, ever get my story finished. *sigh*

But, eventually, it will be shiny and sparkly. It will be so shiny and sparkly, in fact, that it will be ready for the next cycle: the agent/editor cycle! This cycle is way less predictable, and therefore can't actually be cyclicle:

More perfect arrows! You guise, I win the arrow-drawing competition.

 So you're querying, and you get some feedback - maybe that feedback is in the form of constant rejections, or maybe it's actual feedback. Either way, you know something isn't working. So you revise. And you keep querying. Then you get an offer. Squee!!!!!!!! And your shiny new agent has notes on 26 of your 27 chapters. So you revise again. Then you go on sub, and guess what??? A publisher loves it!!! Except for chapters 3, 8, 9, 12, 13, 16, 17, 22, and 27. Also, your main character should have a dog. Also, your love interest is too ugly, he needs to be cute. Also, a main character from the planet Zortab will never sell at Flourish and Blotts bookseller, because the CEO has a morbid fear of the letter "Z," so change that. 

But then, finally, after all that, your book is published. Your name is on a glossy dust jacket beside the likes of (insert your favorite author's name here...I didn't want to leave anyone out.) All of the months and years of revising and making up awesome MS paint renditions of revising maps were totally worth it because you have a writing career.

Well, sort of. At least, you'll have a writing career when you start on that next book. You just have to write it, then read it, then revise it...

Honestly, though, I do get discouraged and exhausted sometimes. But at the end of the day, that big pink PUBLICATION keeps me going. If there is even a chance that I could make my dream come true, it's totally worth it to me. I'll revise until my fingers bleed and my eyes get fuzzy from staring at my computer screen, just as long as I get the chance to make this happen. 

So, just how shiny can I make my MS? Let's find out...*dives into round two of revisions* (I fully expect to lose count of my revision rounds at some point, by the way. I've already lost count of the number of times I've revised the first 25 pages.)

Writing a Novel is Like Playing the Lotto

Hello, blog-followers!! Let me start off by apologizing for my extended absence. For the past several days, I was holed up in bed, stuck in a sweaty, fever-induced cocoon of sickness that looked something like this:

Image source. I tried to make a hilarious Paintbrush rendering of my state, complete with sweat and stinky sick breath, but apparently those renderings are really hard! I have a much greater respect for people who can master hilarious MS Paint art now. 

Anyway, now I'm fully recovered...or at least recovered enough to update my blog, which is really all you people care about anyway. 

While catching up on my emails (98 missed emails in 3 days...wow!), the hubs came over and handed me his lotto ticket. He asked if I could please check the numbers when I got a chance. 

Every time he does this, I get a little frustrated. It's not like we have a lot of money, and I always think - what else could that four dollars buy that would show measurable results rather than this gamble of a lotto ticket, which literally has a 1 in 20,358,520 chance of wining (which I know because I looked it up)? 

But as I'm waiting for the flalottery Web site to load, I still get a little squirm in my stomach...what if we win?? I could probably quit my job and write full-time, at least for a little while. Or at the very least I could pay off all my debt and not have so much pressure to work as much. I could buy as many books as I wanted, and build a giant home library. I wouldn't have to worry about how I'm going to pay for SCBWI-LA - I'll just pay for it. 

This excitement is the only thing that has kept me from telling the hubs not to waste his money on lotto tickets anymore. He doesn't buy them every week, so if he wants to pick them up once in awhile, so be it.  

Today, I couldn't help but be reminded of the publishing industry, and how writing a book is a little like playing the lotto. You dedicate months, possibly years of your time to writing. You shun parties and social events. You pay to attend conferences and get to know crit partners. You pour your heart and soul into a book...what happens if it never gets published? Does that mean it doesn't matter? Was all of this time poorly spent?

I definitely don't think so. Even if you query away and no one bites, you've still learned a lot just throughout the writing process. I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of "the more you write, the better you become," so even if your novel is never published, you've still learned plenty to get started on your next one. Plus, unlike the lotto, there are many factors in the writing process that you can control - talent and craft and industry knowledge. If your gamble isn't paying off, maybe you need to just reevaluate your hook or tweak your query. Or maybe the first half of your book is great, but something isn't clicking in the ending. The point is, though you can't change your lotto numbers, you can revise your novel every minute until it gets published (though you might want to avoid changes in the page proof stage - it tends to piss publishers off because it's so expensive...though I did learn that Dennis Lehane doesn't really care about that rule and will submit changes right up to the day the book is printed, expenses be damned.) 

Obviously, we haven't won the lotto - yet. And I haven't had my book published, either - yet. But I'll let the hubs buy his lotto tickets, and I'll keep revising and perfecting my book until I think my gamble isn't so much a gamble as it is a safe bet. 

What Evan Lysacek Taught Me About Writing

Right now is your ABSOLUTE LAST CHANCE to enter my 100 followers contest!

I hear people ask sometimes (new writers, mostly), "How can I possibly find the time to write? I'm dealing with a full-time job, family, friends, a house to clean....I just don't have the time to dedicate to working on my novel! What should I do?" I usually give a typical answer, but I saw something today that really hit this point home for me.

Today, for the first time in an embarrassingly long time, I went to the gym. I'm staying in a hotel (which I had to pay a lot of money for because my brother is getting married in Daytona Beach during Bike Week), so I felt  like I wanted to get the full hotel experience - right now I'm even sipping free coffee and using free Internet. Anyway, I read a story on the elliptical, then moved to the floor for crunches and turned on Ellen, where I was able to catch the following interview: 



What struck me the most about this interview is the sheer dedication - seven hours a day of exercise, working on his body (for writers, this would equate to writing exercises, outlining, etc.) and practicing on the ice (for writers, of course, this is the actual story writing and revising). But not only was he out there every day, all day, working his butt off, but he was glad to be doing it. You can tell because, not only does he say that nothing makes him happier, but the joy on his face is completely apparent - his eyes are lighting up, he's animated; he's happy to be talking about what he loves.


Lysacek proves in this interview what I always tell people when they ask me where I find the time - if you love something, you make it work. He said he sacrificed everything; parties, nights out, holidays, all of it, in order to reach his goal. Sure, his full-time job was training, but still; he obviously made some other changes, and even thought about his sport when he wasn't on the ice. It influenced every decision he made. He never wanted to get home and feel like he hadn't accomplished anything. He made a schedule for himself and stuck to it. And if there was something else he needed to do (like wash his car on Tuesday), he worked it in around his training (even if all he had was eight minutes). 

If you want to write, you'll find a way to make it work. You'll stay up late. You'll wake up early. You'll stop watching TV or rearrange your schedule. You'll let the dishes pile up in the sink. Writers write. It's what we do. If you can't find the time, it's not your schedule that's the problem - you just don't want it bad enough. Lysacek wanted it bad enough, so he changed his life. And now he has a gold medal. I want it bad enough, and I've changed (and continue to change) my life. It's what you do to make it work.

On a side note, I love his bit about watching the birds. Just awesome. You really can get inspiration from anywhere - even if you think it's a dumb idea at first, sometimes all it takes is exploring it from a new angle to see that it could be something truly amazing.

What about you? How have you had to change your life to make time for writing? Or is this something with which you continue to struggle?

The elusive "teen voice"

Before you read this post, check out my pre-famous author interview on Anne Riley's blog! 

This post is for my YA writer friends, or anyone who puts teen characters in their novels. If you don't, you can feel free to skip this in your Google reader line-up, blogger dashboard, or whatever other method you use to enjoy the fuzzy goodness that is my blog.

About two weeks ago, I won a contest on the lovely Ms. Myra McEntire's blog for a copy of Hex Hall by Rachel Hawkins. But the day before I found out I won, a friend of mine, who had read the book and was dying to discuss it with someone, offered to send me her ARC, on the express promise that I return it to her when I was finished. By the time I found out I won, the other copy was already in the mail. So I told my friend that I would read her copy until my copy arrived, then return her copy and finish up whatever was left with my own copy (and if I say "copy" one more time in this sentence I think my blog is going to explode). Needless to say, I devoured my friend's copy of the book in a few days, and it is already in the mail back to her. I am so thrilled to have my very own copy of this book on my way to me so that I can add it to my collection and visit it over and over again, not only because the story and characters are fun and engaging, and the plot quite brilliant, but because Rachel Hawkins has mastered something that most YA writers agonize over trying to perfect - the teen voice.

Hex Hall is narrated by Sophie Mercer, a 16-year-old who found out three years ago that she's a witch. And even though I love that aspect of the book (and the fact that Hawkins freely references Harry Potter in an extremely appropriate way), what I love even more is that, by the end of the book, I felt as if I knew Sophie and all of her quirks. More than that, I wanted to be her friend. I found her hilarious and sarcastic and smart, but not in-your-face about it. I felt like I was really reading from a teenager's point of view, but not once was I annoyed with trivialities, and I don't remember there being an "OMG!!!" or a "like, totally!" to be found. (Although "like, totally!" might be very 1999 of me. I have no idea. I am old and out of touch. Well, not really old, but old enough for the kiddos to think I'm out of touch, anyhow.) But not for one second did I doubt that Sophie was 16. She made me laugh with her quick-witted retorts. She was genuine. She gushed over boys in almost the same breath that she condemned them. She simultaneously hated her mom and loved her. Her vocabulary was appropriate for her age, and she didn't talk down to the reader. I honestly can't remember the last time that I thought a first-person contemporary teen narrator was this genuine, believable, and just plain fun.

I know this book is on a lot of people's radars, but if you're writing a contemporary YA with a teen narrator, especially a female teen, this book is a must-read. Hawkins completely nails the teen voice. I can't believe she's a debut author, and I look forward to seeing more of both her and Sophie. Rachel Hawkins is also on Twitter, and you should follow her there, because she's fabulous. 

OK, now that I've totally gushed over a book given you some required reading, here are some tips to help make the teen voice in your YA novel more genuine:

1. If you are old and crotchety out of high school like me, go somewhere and just listen to the way teenagers talk. There's nothing worse than an adult trying to pretend they know what a teenager sounds like...so this means watching lame sitcoms doesn't count. (Although you should definitely watch Degrassi: The Next Generation, just because it's awesome, it's Canadian, and it has given us such stars as Nina Dobrev of Vampire Diaries fame and Shenae Grimes, current star of the new 90210.) I'd suggest going to the mall or other public places and listening to how various groups of teens interact with other people - with their parents, their friends, their boyfriends, etc. Notice the differences when it's just two teens talking than when there's a larger group. This might make you a creepy stalker, true, but it's excellent research. 
2. Here's a radical idea...go find a teen and, uh, TALK TO THEM. You should probably be doing this anyway if you want to write YA. For this one, though, I don't suggest heading to the mall, because while slurping on your Starbucks and window shopping with your ears open is one thing, approaching teens for a casual conversation is another, and is a sure-fire way to get you arrested. But I'm sure most of you have a teen in your life, a sister, daughter, niece, nephew, student, cousin, SOMEone, who falls into your target demographic. And if not? Volunteering would be a great opportunity to give back to the community and get to know a young adult. Plus, Disney is giving out free passes this year to people who spend just one day volunteering. Novel research, volunteering, and free passes to Disney? It's like the Trifecta of Win.      
3. Finally, try to get a teen beta reader or two. Most teens will be up-front with you and tell you if they think your teen-aged MC sounds like an adult in teen clothing. Gather those teens I mentioned in number two and ask them to read your manuscript, or find some volunteer teen betas through writing groups such as YALitChat. 

What about you, readers? What's the best book you've read recently with a believable teen voice? And what tips do you have for making the teen voice more authentic?

Why I Write YA

I love my brother. For as long as I can remember, I've looked up to him as the person I want to be like, the person whose footsteps I want to follow in. When I was a kid, I thought he was the ultimate in cool. Even to this day I will listen to pretty much any band he recommends, simply because it has the Andy stamp of approval.

Unfortunately, nowadays, I only get to see my brother once or twice a year, always at major holidays. In 2009, it was during my wedding in May and then again at Christmas. This year, I'm sure it will be during his wedding (in two weeks!) and again at Christmas. I'll also admit that my family isn't huge on phone calls. We talk on the phone maybe once a month, not because we don't love each other, but just because we are afraid of the brain tumors that cell phones obviously cause (just kidding - I think it's really the sweaty ear factor that turns me off.)

So when my brother visited during Christmas last year, I was catching him up on several months of my life. Our few phone calls had touched on the Big Stuff - how law school was going for him, how day job was going for me, whether I liked being married, etc. Then we started talking other life events, and I decided it was time he knew what I was spending every evening from 8pm - 11pm (times may vary) working on (my sister, a loyal blog reader, already knew. For the record, I love her too.). The conversation went something like this:

Me: So I'm writing a novel.
Big Brother: Yeah? What about?
Me: It's a YA future dystopian novel.
Big Sister: It sounds really interesting, I really want to read it. (Told you she was loyal and I love her.)
BB: What does that mean?
Me: YA? Young adult.
BB: And that other thing? Dystopian? (I promise my brother is an intelligent guy. But he's more math/science, not as much English.)
Me: Like the opposite of utopia.
BB: Oh. So you're writing for young adults? What's that, like teenagers?
Me: Yeah, pretty much.
BB: So are you going to use a pen name?
Me: Why would I do that?
BB: So that when you get published you don't pigeon-hole yourself, and when you want to write real literature you can.

I know what my brother was trying to say. He was assuming that I was using YA as some kind of easy-in (ha!) to establish a career, then I could write something more serious, literary fiction or something, when I was established. But I bet my entire Harry Potter collection that every YA writer winced a little when you read what he said.

I've mentioned before my thoughts on the snobbery associated with YA lit, and how I hate when people assume that just because something is written/published as YA means it's easier to read. And when I was at my conference, I'll admit that I got more than a few side-glaces or mislaid pieces of advice when I told people I wrote YA (for example, multiple people told me, "You should write about angels! They're the next vampire!" Sure they are, if I have Becca Fitzpatrick's timing.) Ultimately, though, I found myself telling a lot of people why I chose to write YA - and when I explained it (aside from the fact that it's one of few markets where debut authors are actually getting published), everyone seemed to back off - my brother included.

So, why do I write YA?

I write YA because there is only one time in a person's life when you can make them a fan of reading. As adults, we're already fans of reading. We're not likely to pick up a book, think, "Wow, this book changed my life, it's so good I want to read another book!" By the time we're in our 20s, 30s, and 40s, we've already fostered a love of reading (or we've fostered a love of reality TV shows). I would love to be the author for one person - just one teen - who made them find their love of reading. We have so much opportunity as YA authors, and we need to recognize our impact.

Even more so, teenagers are going through such a crazy time. So much is happening, so much is changing. Many of them are looking for a place they can escape to, or they're looking for somewhere or someone like them, or they're looking for advice - I know when I was a teen, I turned to books for all of those things. That's why I write YA. For the undeniable chance to change a person. For life.

Why do you write YA, if you do? And if you don't, why did you choose the genre you love?

Special thanks to Heather Zundel for inspiring today's post. I kept thinking I would write something on this topic, and you can tell I've been gathering material for awhile, but her post today reminded me to finally do it. 

We interupt these revisions to bring you...WIPadise!!

So the lovely and talented Ms. Sara McClung (who very generously sent me a Borders gift card just because I psycho-tweeted about her contest, and sent along some adorable ladybug bookmarks to go with it) is holding a Saradise for herself, wherein she commits to making writing her priority for the rest of February. She invited some of her blog followers to join her, and by-golly, we did!! (Wow, the lack of activities aside from revising is really getting to my head.)

I am pretty stoked about this whole thing. It's nice to have other people on board with me; that's part of the reason I was so successful during NaNoWriMo. Also, Heathadise doesn't sound quite as good as Saradise, so I named my own version WIPadise...which I love because it sounds like I'm cracking the whip!!!

Tonight, I accomplished the following things:

1. Finished revisions on the first four chapters, including all the major rewrites suggested from my workshop (OMG THIS WAS SO HARD.)
2. Ignored my husband when he asked to play Mario Wii with me (ALSO HARD. But the focus of this month is writing, not Mario. This is not Mariodise, it's WIPadise.)
3. I didn't watch any episodes of LOST, even though I've been watching old ones for clues to the new season. My resolve might not be so great when my new Dexter disc comes, but that's not for two days.
4. Before I go to sleep tonight, I will be sending my first few chapters to my critique partner, and I know she's very excited to get the pages, and will be waiting with bated breath for them. (I might be exaggerating here, but I have been making her wait since before the conference because I am very mean.)

This is really a lot, and I'm hoping to keep up the momentum and have first-round edits done by the end of the month! Maybe I can even get ahead of schedule, get some comments back, and start on the second round!! Oo!! I'm being ambitious. (But seriously, all you people almost ready to query makes me a little jealous. I know I can't rush it. But still. Jealous.) I do have a lot of days off, though, thanks to furloughs, Preisdent's Day, etc.

The point of all this, whether or not you're one of the lucky few who are participating in the event, is that it's important to set aside some time for yourself every now and then to just write. Dedicate yourself to the craft that you love. Shun things like TV, video games, showering, etc. (I think I've mentioned the showering thing before. I'm cool if none of you shower. We're Internet friends, after all.) Just remember that the more you write, the more you grow, so you won't become a better writer unless you WRITE.

Finally, something to get all of us Saradise/WIPadise/Whatever-dise people in the mood...and a fun song for the rest of you:

I was totally in a production of Footloose in high school. No, I did not play Ariel. I was Ren's mom, because clearly when I was 17 I could play a convincing 40-year-old. I do have a tape of the event, but fortunately for you me, it's not on a DVD and therefore can never be put online for Heather Shame. (Don't get any ideas, Frankie/Shannon/people that dare.) 

Now you can officially put me in a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon.

My author role model

When I'm alone in my car, my house, the shower, or my cubicle, I sometimes often pretend that I've achieved ridiculous fame thanks to my wildly successful novels. I hold interviews in my head with the press and my adoring fans about how I come up with my ideas, I plan what I'm going to wear to my movie premieres (not this, for sure), and I think about how I'd like to behave when I'm OMGTOTALLYRICHANDFAMOUS.

Is that crazy? Probably. But we've all done it, so I am totally cool with admitting my crazy. Plus it makes me all eccentric and writer-like.

Lately I've been trying to decide who I'd want to model my authorly behavior after, and it only took me about two seconds before I decided: Megan McCafferty.

Megan McCafferty is the author of the fabulous Jessica Darling series, and her next book, Bumped, is being written right now (I am so excited about the premise I can't stand it! It's future dystopian, in that only teenagers can get pregnant, but get this: it's funny! Future dystopia is one of my favorite topics to explore, but they're always such serious, depressing books with moral lessons. Maybe that's why I like them, but I can't wait to see how she handles it.)

Although I think McCafferty is a talented writer who captures teen drama with painful accuracy, and I definitely love how she's been able to touch the hearts of so many teens, young adults, and adults, that's not the reason I'm writing this post. Because if I'm telling the truth, I'd rather steal the masterful storytelling abilities of, say, J.K. Rowling. But I do think McCafferty excels tremendously at reaching out to her fans. She is one of the most accessible authors I know. You can friend her on Facebook (or just become a fan), follow her on Twitter, or read her blog (although that definitely isn't updated as much anymore, there are some very cool old entries from her journal).

You can also email her, which I did when I was first reading the Jessica Darling books. You see, Megan McCafferty and I have something in common (aside from the fact that we're both writers). We both went to the University of Richmond (we even both wrote for the school paper!), and we were both pretty miserable there. Although my teachers were awesome, the student body as a whole pretty much sucks. Everyone is totally full of themselves, stuck-up, and looks matter so much it makes you want to throw yourself into the lake. She only spent the first two years there, then transferred, while I braved the full four years with a small group of friends who got me through.

UR has some crazy traditions, like Proclamation Night, where all the Freshmen women wear white (although my first year they told us we were encouraged to wear "clothes that reflected our ethnic background," which is hilarious since the school is like 99% white. So you want us to wear...white? Got it.) and carry candles around campus or something. I'm not really sure what goes on, because I didn't go my freshman year (my mom died, so I went home), and I skipped it my senior year since I hadn't gone my freshman year and didn't really give a crap about it.

Well, in two of her books, McCafferty references events that could only be describing UR happenings. After a little digging, I discovered our shared alma mater, and shot her an email, assuming she wouldn't reply, and might not even read it. And she wrote back! Within three hours! And not just a lame, "thanks for being a fan" email, but an awesome, thoughtful response that really meant something. Do you have any idea how incredible this made me feel? (I'll gladly pull out the dancing banana again if you're not sure.)

To make things even more amazing, lately she's been giving away books like crazy. On Twitter and Facebook, several times a week she's been holding semi-spontaneous giveaways and just mailing signed books to people. Awesome! (I did finally manage to get one, thanks to a senryu I wrote about UR...hehe.)  I know people who've written to her or attended her signings, and their stories are the same: she's personable, funny, witty, honest, and charming. When my online book club did a poll which included naming five authors who you'd like to invite to dinner, she appeared on the list more than once.

My point is, when authors make a connection with their readers, it doesn't just boost sales (although that definitely helps; it's safe to say I will read pretty much anything Megan McCafferty writes, ever). It also makes the fan feel special. If you're a YA writer, that becomes even more important. Young adults are at a difficult time in their life. Avid readers see their favorite writers as celebrities. Who wouldn't love to hear from a huge celebrity?

When I become rich and famous, I vow to make the same effort to be accessible that Megan McCafferty has. College talks, random giveaways, and answering fan mail is all in the cards. Without readers, we wouldn't be able to survive. Truthfully, we need them more than they need us, so we should show them the same love right back. 

Edit: Did you need further proof that Megan McCafferty was awesome??? She read this blog (I have no idea how she got the link), then tweeted me about it. Yeah, she pretty much rules.

Woohoo! (Take Two!) I'm a winner!

Even though I haven't posted it here in awhile, I've still been doing the one-minute writer. Not every day, but whenever I see it in my blog roll and the topic catches my eye. Well on November 23, the prompt was, "Travel: What is the furthest you traveled from home as a child? Describe the experience." In one minute, I wrote:

When I was 13, I flew to Australia with a group of children my age. It was my first time on a plane, and the length of the flight alone left me shaking with nerves. But Australia itself was not that different from home; with the exception of the kangaroos, and the terrifying giant spiders. I thought they would eat my face as I slept.

Beth, the owner of one-minute writer, picked me as the one-minute writer of the day! Woot! She said she was amused by the "spider eating my face" bit. Amusing? Yes. Still true and terrifying? Absolutely. Spiders are creeptastic.

Thanks for picking me, Beth! And to all you writers out there: Beth has a great blog going on over there; if you're not following it, you should be! Prompts abound! I've even used some of the prompts as character studies (and posted them here multiple times; that's just one example), and some of those character studies ended up in my novel. You never know where your inspiration can come from.

The dreaded bad feedback!

OK, I don't really have a lot of experience with this. But it's been on my mind lately, so I wanted to write about it.

I write freelance bar, restaurant, and concert reviews. Part of my philosophy is that almost no one gets a 100% positive review, because no restaurant is perfect. Think about your favorite restaurant. I bet there's something wrong with it, right? Not the food necessarily, but maybe the lighting is too dark, or the bathroom is a bit gross. I just have a hard time saying that everything is kittens and rainbows because I feel like it's not totally honest. You have to seriously blow me away to get a totally, no-negative-words review out of me (Green Springs Bistro in Safety Harbor, FL, is about to come close when it gets posted on the Tampa metromix.com site. That place was to die for.)

Generally when one of my reviews is published, I link to it on Facebook, because I am the youngest child and obviously starved for attention. Of course, this requires me to go back and actually read the review after it's published (always noticing the way the St. Pete Times cuts it up and rewrites it, and MetroMix doesn't touch a word, leaving any careless grammatical errors online for the world to see). This also forces me to view the comments that users have posted between the time that the review went up and the time that I clicked through.

For the most part, my reviews are nice. But every once in a while, I will tear a place apart. I think it's fine, as long as it's earned. The problem comes when people reading the article don't agree with my review. I have to read people calling me out personally, saying I don't know what I'm talking about, and even suggesting that I find a new job. In the review I linked above, I actually asked the friend who went with me to confirm that the food was awful, to make sure that I wasn't living in some delusional world where my taste buds were more sensitive than everyone else's.

Then, of course, there was that review I wrote of the Killers' concert. Now, if your reading comprehension is beyond that of a fourth grader, you will note that I said both positive and negative things. I said that I ultimately had fun, but I just wished they had kicked up the energy sooner. And man did that piss some people off! I can't decide which comment is my favorite: the one that actually links to another, more favorable review, or the one where the guy gets mad at me saying that Brandon Flowers' voice cracked while completely ignoring the fact that I said it was a good thing at that point.

Whenever I see these comments, these little snarky notes on the reviews I've poured my heart and soul into, I always want to write back. Sometimes I get the urge to log in anonymously, creating an alias I can use to defend myself. "This Heather is great! She knows what she's talking about!" Other times, I want to be just as mean to them as they are to me. "Learn to read, jerk-off." or "Did your taste buds break? You think that's GOOD food? Try eating somewhere other than Popeye's and maybe you'll learn."

But I never do. Part of being a writer, especially a critic, is learning to deal with critics of your own. And if I ever am lucky enough to see my book published, I'll have to read a lot more than the lame mutterings of a random Joe on the Internet. Entertainment Weekly gave Suzanne Collins' Catching Fire, the brilliant sequel to The Hunger Games, a C!! (Let's put that in perspective: that's the same grade they gave Sarah Palin's new book, which I haven't read, but I know is crap. Also, if you haven't read those books, you need to. Like, yesterday.)

My point is, reading those comments gives me a thicker skin, and helps me get used to the many criticisms I hope to deal with one day when I'm as famous as J.K. Rowling. If EW wants to give my book a C, I guess that's fine, as long as my ardent fans write in to let them know they got it all wrong.

For now, I'll stick to punching the one-star "rank this restaurant" button to let the world know that someone out there agrees with me. Even if it's just me.

My Muses

Every writer should have a muse. Something that motivates them and keeps them going, something that inspires them.

One of my muses (or I guess two) are my dogs. As silly as it sounds, they keep me going. All day I look forward to just snuggling on the couch with them, and they happily sit beside me as I write. Usually it will only be one or the other of them, tucked under my arm as I sit with my computer across my lap. Observe, Evie in her natural habitat:


Please, no comments on the fact that my dog is wearing a sweater. I realize I live in Florida, but we never run the heat, and the dogs shiver or bury themselves in blankets. Plus those sweaters have LEGS. How cute is THAT?!

Sometimes, when I'm really lucky, I'll get one under each arm. I'll admit, it is a little more difficult to type when they arrange themselves that way, and I have to reach around them to get to my keyboard. But it is totally worth it for two reasons:

1. It is absolutely effing adorable.
2. I don't want to disturb them when they get all cozy like that next to me, so I don't get up, so I tend to write for a lot longer.

Unfortunately, Millie, my other little Italian Greyhound, wasn't cooperating tonight. She is still sitting, all by her lonesome, on the other side of the couch on top of a large pile of fleece blankets. But she's been around longer (7 years), and she usually sits with me better (Evie has a tendency to stand in the way of my screen, move around a lot, and be a general pain in my ass, but Millie will just plop for hours on end). It didn't feel right to leave her out of the post, but it also didn't feel right to put up one of my normal pictures of her with proper lighting and focus. So I took one of her with my camera phone so it would be just as grainy as Evie's. Enjoy! (Ignore her demon eyes...it's the flash, I swear.)

Ugh, they are SO much cuter than this in person. Oh, well.

If you're a writer having a hard time getting inspired, try changing locations or sitting in a new place, or just sitting with a new person. They don't have to say anything (of course it's better if they don't), but just their energy or their presence might motivate you in a new way. Or head to your local rescue and adopt a pet! (hehehe)


UPDATE: About an hour after I posted this entry, I fed the dogs. Millie is actually a pig, not a dog (excellent example: she just burped right into my face. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried), so she always finishes her dinner first. Since she came over to sit with me, I thought I would snap a (terrible) picture. Now I'm trying to coax Evie girl over to join us. If it happens, you can bet I will post another update with more pictures. I am going to be SO obnoxious as a mom.


SECOND UPDATE: SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!! Awful picture, delightful cuddling. I really need someone else here to capture the adorableness that this whole thing is. It's amazing.